My Halloween

My Modern Europe professor offered two points extra credit on the next exam for anyone who wrote a page on their Halloween experience. Well, I needed the extra credit, so here it is. Also, sorry for the bluriness of the picture. It’s my Obama pose, by the way.

I must confess that, while I enjoy the perennial American holiday as much as the next Joe Six-Pack, I frequently forget to prepare for the holidays that need to be prepared for. My costume for Halloween, more specifically, never enters my mind until about a few days before. I’m normally told by someone what they’re costume is going to be, which prompts me to wonder the very same thing about myself.

This year was no exception. I didn’t actually begin thinking about my costume until the Tuesday before Halloween Friday. My first ideas were: John McCain, Jesus, Animal from the Muppets, or one of the guys from Flight of the Conchords. Then my sister suggested I go as “Muhna Muhna” from the Muppets simply because I look exactly like him, albeit without the lime green shag carpet sweater. This idea made sense, but I couldn’t pull myself to spring for a shag carpet for just a few hours of use. Some people call it being cheap; I call it being frugal.

So, on Halloween, about ten minutes before I was to meet some friends for our evening outing, I had the idea: I pulled out a plain white t-shirt and drew some primitive coins on the front with a Sharpie. I was, literally, “Change You Can Believe In.” Though I’m an Obama supporter, using his slogan was more sarcastic than sincere. I knew I would be explaining it to everyone all night, but I figured having a “costume” that made me laugh was ultimately most important.

Instead of going to a bar rotting of beer, vomit, and the loss of inhibition, I “trick-or-treated for the homeless” with Cardinals-On-Wheels, the campus commuters group. We canvassed Naperville asking for donations of non-perishable goods that we could donate to the local homeless shelter. We also secured a healthy booty of chocolate and sugary goodness for ourselves. That is, after all, what Halloween is all about.

Afterward we got together and rocked some board games and free food. It was a fun night full of fellowship, booze-free, that I actually remembered the next morning. That isn’t, apparently, what Halloween is all about.

The audacity of hoping for change: voting for Barack Obama

Published in the North Central Chronicle on October 31, 2008.

Barack Obama should have a copyright on the word “change.” He’d be filthy rich by now. The word has endured more abuse during this election than a piñata on Cinco de Mayo. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter.

The whole point of an election is to give an electorate the chance to change their country’s direction if they want to. That has happened a few times in our history. Once in a generation, a presidential election becomes just a little more than a legal affair; it represents a cultural and ideological shift in the American zeitgeist.

In 1932, Franklin Roosevelt rolled into office with a mandate to build America back up from ruin, ushering in a new era of economic and social liberalism. Richard Nixon took office in 1968 with the promise of restoring law and order to a country torn apart by the division and chaos of the 1960s. Ronald Reagan’s victory over the incumbent Jimmy Carter in 1980 showed that the country was ready to regain the dignity it lost in the 1970s.

Whether 2008 becomes one of these watershed years remains to be seen, but I know which candidate, if elected, would represent the same kind of step forward we’ve taken in the past when we’ve needed it the most: Barack Obama.

My decision to vote for Obama came gradually and with a clear head. I’m no Obamanic like many people I know-no buttons or iconic t-shirts for me, thank you. Rather, I became increasingly impressed with Obama’s temperament and judgment throughout the campaign. While I was moved by his Iowa caucus win and subsequent victory speech, I was not won over until I saw the way he handled the inflammatory remarks of his now-former pastor Rev. Jeremiah Wright.

The speech he gave in Philadelphia in March, titled “A More Perfect Union,” was the most thoughtful and candid examination of modern race relations I’ve ever seen. And it came from a presidential candidate. Not from a Ph.D. or an impassioned preacher, but from a presidential candidate who could have easily been knocked out of the race permanently for talking honestly about such a topic. That took some gumption, and it impressed me.

I’ve learned something from watching an election for the first time as an eligible voter that I will remember forever: take everything the candidates say they will do as president and forget about three-quarters of it. What remains is just about how much of what they promise will actually be accomplished.

I kept that in mind when I decided to vote for Obama. He’s not the savior some wish he was (nor is he the Antichrist some think he his)-he’s just here at the right moment. His mantra, “Yes, we can,” may seem like just a cheap catchphrase, but its message matters. When you’re having one of those terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days, hearing someone say “Yes, we can get through this together” can give you the oomph you need to get up and try again.

Well, we’re going through a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad time right now, aren’t we? That was the case when Roosevelt, Nixon, and Reagan took office. Barack Obama isn’t going to be the one to all of sudden make things better again. He’s a flawed politician just like John McCain. But after living through eight years of being told to shop instead of serve, Obama’s optimism is exactly what this country needs to do something good again.

I realized that I haven’t talked about “the issues.” As a moderate, my political views on the issues are pretty evenly divided between Obama and McCain, so ultimately it wasn’t the issues that decided my vote. Besides, talking about “the issues” has gotten pretty dull throughout what “The Daily Show” called the “long, flat, seemingly endless Bataan Death March to the White House.”

What matters to me is soundness of mind. What matters to me is being proud of my president’s words and actions. While John McCain is a war hero and POW yadda yadda yadda, his choosing Sarah Palin as a running mate was irresponsible and condescending. I cannot with a clear conscience vote such a reckless duo into the White House.

Plus, Obama’s two girls, Sasha and Malia, are as cute as a button. Isn’t that enough?

But seriously, this is one of those moments when the country needs to turn the page. The quality of the writing in the last chapter was poor; let’s hope for some better prose in the next. Barack Obama may not end up being the change we can believe in, but he is the change we need.

Gosh! Idiot!

June 11, 2009. It is the first day I will be able to watch Napoleon Dynamite for the first time.

When that movie first came out in 2004, it was hyped up so much by my peers. Everybody recited the lines for about six months and I got really sick of it, as did everyone else eventually. I decided around that time that in order to allow myself the opportunity to enjoy the movie without being affected by the hype, I would wait five years to watch the movie.

Next June will be five years to the day of its theatrical release, so I guess I’ll find out then. I’m looking forward to it.

I’m pretty sure I already know all of the funny lines from it, courtesy of my high school peers. Although, Napoleon Dynamite, I’ve heard, is one of those movies you will either love or hate. Based on what I know about it, I think I’ll enjoy it.

If there is a movie that has been released for a while and has been hyped up way too much, but you haven’t seen it yet, I’d recommend postponing like I did. I know a few people who waited too long to see The Dark Knight and were let down because of the sky-high expectations set by those around them. You will get joshed by your friends for not seeing it, but it will be worth it.

What movies have you put off seeing because of its hype?

Good listenin’

It’s been a good two days for me musically. First, I got the debut CD from Carla Bruni, the French First Lady, called Quelqu’un M’a Dit from the library. I can’t understand a word of it, but I love the sexy folk style. Now I just have to find her most recent album.

But what makes me more excited than sexy folk music from France is the fourth album from Copeland called You Are My Sunshine. I got it free in the mail from Tooth & Nail because I write reviews for a college music magazine called Hear Say. I freaking loved Eat, Sleep, Repeat and so far I’m loving this new album. I get to see Copeland on tour along with Lovedrug in a few weeks in downtown Chicago (also for free). Good stuff.

“Christianity for the masses: a summer camp counselor’s guide to good character”

Originally published in the North Central Chronicle on Friday, October 10, 2008.

This summer I worked at a Bible camp for the third straight year. (Don’t worry, we didn’t praise a likeness of George W. Bush like those crazies did in Jesus Camp did.) The theme for the summer was character. We studied the Book of James because each of its five chapters gives clear and direct advice on how to live a life with Christ-like character. I realized that even though Scripture is instruction for Christians, its lessons apply to everyone. The character qualities James lays out, if followed, make Christian teachings relevant to every person, religious or not.

Here are a few things I learned this summer that inform my character and broaden my understanding and appreciation of Jesus and of Christianity. It’s Spark Notes, Jesus-style.

Don’t play favorites. It’s what James, the brother of Jesus, calls the “Royal Law”: love your neighbor as yourself. The Law hammered in the importance of hospitality and loving your neighbors, but James, following Jesus’ lead, extended it further: you should love not only the neighbors you like or those who are well-off, but those who might not deserve love or get it very often.

This lesson relates directly to the parable of the Good Samaritan. Jesus, after telling the story, points out the contradiction of the two religious men who passed by the mugging victim on the road; he says they really didn’t love God if they didn’t help that man in need. The Good Samaritan, however, stopped and helped the man, quite possibly saving his life. This Samaritan, who to the Israelites back then would have been viewed as a second-class citizen, did right by God because he loved his neighbor even though he was considered an enemy. He didn’t play favorites.

The easiest place to play favorites is at home with family. Sibling rivalries and family turmoil can create the deepest divisions between people, but learning to love even the most self-centered or immature family member just as much as the others is the best way to live by the Royal Law.

Watch your mouth. “The tongue is a small part of the body,” writes James, “but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.” Working with kids reveals just how true this is. In a heated moment, words can fly out uncontrollably and cause all sorts of lasting damage.

But James insists that you can’t build a person up with your words one day and then tear him down the next: “Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing,” he writes. “This should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?” If you allow yourself the selfish indulgence of cursing someone out or spreading malicious gossip, you’ve already lost the battle.

Holding your tongue is not easy, but it is simple. When you come upon a situation that inspires in you a creative comeback or pointed slur, don’t say it. Just don’t. Stop, think, then don’t say a word. You may think the other person deserves what was coming to them, but chances are they don’t. If you forgive them and let it go, you win.

Be humble. James quotes a proverb when he writes: “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Believing in God isn’t essential when it comes to humility. Sooner or later those who let pride be their guide will meet crash and burn, sometimes painfully. That’s why I love humility. It forces you to acknowledge that sometimes you can’t do things on your own, that you need to come to a place of spiritual, emotional, or physical brokenness before you can build yourself up again even better than before.

Humility is not putting yourself below others; it’s putting others above yourself. Jesus did this well. It’s a little harder, though, for the rest of us to get right. We all kind of suck at it, so there’s always room for improvement. Families are, again, a perfect practice field for this. Be willing to be a humble servant when you visit home: do chores without being asked or give a little sibling a ride somewhere without grumbling. It can be painful sometimes to elevate others above our own swollen egos, but doing so will be rewarding for you and appreciated by others.

Be patient. Along with humility, patience can be the hardest thing to learn and do well. But it is so very important to be patient. James explains: “See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm.” James equates patience with standing firm, enduring hardship for the promise of something good.

In the original Greek, to “stand firm” is sterizo kardia, or “strengthen the heart.” So by persevering through the most obnoxious, maddening, kill-me-now-God moments, you are strengthening your heart and your resolve, allowing yourself more patience for the next time you need it.

I learned this first-hand every day at camp. Answering the same obvious question for the seventeenth time can wear on your very being, but by having patience and being kind in each response, I was strengthening my heart and modeling what good patience looks like. Sometimes I wasn’t very patient and wanted to wring the kids’ necks, but I got better. And that’s all it takes-the willingness to get better.

Let’s be real: this all sounds great, but we’re not saints. It would be much easier to not do these things, honestly. But I challenge you to challenge yourself, to check if your words and your actions are right. Not correct, but right. That’s the kind of reality check we all need.

“…with Special Guest…”

30 Rock is such a crock. I’ve tried watching it a few times, but I’m never inspired to keep watching. For all of its acclaim, it’s just not that funny. Alec Baldwin, who is supposedly the funniest part of the show, does nothing but mug and zip off one-liners. Tina Fey is cool, I guess, but not the genius she’s made out to be.

The worst thing about 30 Rock, though, is that it can barely go a week without a cameo by some random celebrity. I’d like to find out just how many of its episodes so far have not had an arbitrary guest star. For the premiere of its third season this month, the first four shows alone will have cameos by Megan Mullaly, Jennifer Aniston, Steve Martin, and Oprah. Other notables include Selma Hayek, Jerry Seinfeld, Al Gore, Carrie Fisher, Matthew Broderick and many more.

I know this because every time I’ve see a promo for a new episode, it has shown all the wacky scenes with that week’s guest star. Last season, Will Arnett guested for a few episodes, which NBC completely ruined for me because I had already seen all the funny scenes twenty times already.

So I don’t buy any of this Best Comedy crap. The shows that have deservedly won the Emmy’s top comedy award in recent years — Arrested Development, The Office — earned it without an endless slew of celebrities to boost ratings. Granted, Arrested brought a few on throughout their three seasons, and especially in their last one, partly as a shameless ploy to boost the struggling ratings but also to satirize the common practice of struggling TV shows that bring in celebrities to boost ratings.

But they had a purpose; 30 Rock has no purpose for so many famous faces. If it truly is a great show, it should be able to prove it without the help of Oprah.

Who are you?

“It’s really important for America to know who the real Barack Obama is.”

Sarah Palin said this in a brief statement before boarding a plane to a campaign stop. Does anyone else find this a painfully ironic thing for Palin to say? A woman unknown on the national scene until about six weeks ago trying to brand Obama — a man who has been campaigning nationally for virtually two years now — as an unknown?

What about knowing who the real Sarah Palin is? What about knowing Sarah Palin at all? Who are you, Mrs. Palin? You dress moose and drive your kids to hockey practice, we get that; but what else exactly do you do? What kind of ultra-right-wing groups do you hang around with in Alaska? Will you ever drop this whole “media filter” BS and talk to the press? Ever? I hope so.

It sure is, Max!

Late Night with Conan O’Brien is the only late-night talk show I watch consistently. I watch The Daily Show and The Colbert Report for the political satire, but I watch Late Night for the utter wackiness. Besides Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, my favorite reoccuring segment is Small Talk Moment with Max and Conan. I laugh every time they do it.

They “discuss” many different topics, but the best part is always the end of the skit when Conan says “It sure is, Max!” will a ridiculous smile and half-laugh and then they exchange dead-pan stares. Now that’s must-see TV.